My father once pointed out to me that my sister and I have managed over the years to maintain several lasting friendships. He implied that we have had the same friends over the last ten years, but I would say more precisely (for me at least), I have always managed to have a close circle of friends at whatever stage of life I was in.
I had my high school friends. We were similar in who knows what but we had lots of fun. We were considered nerdy primarily b/c we’d come from private primary schools, spoke proper English most of the time and did well in school. I’m not sure I would have survived without them. We ate Klondike bars and Cheetos and decided MSG was our friend. We had mock queen shows on our verandas, we lips synced to boy bands, created dance routines, and moved from house to house planning various escapades. It doesn’t sound like much not but at the time it was delightful!
My university friends were by default other people Caribbean transplants. Very few of us were in the same programme or had overlapping classes. But we went to Caribbean Student Organisation + Buzz parties and wined from beginning to end, we played board games and cooked and ate food.
With my post-university Canada friends I went to book readings, poetry events, pride parties, I cooked, I ate… there were very adult dinner parties and very not-so-adult games nights. When I returned to the Caribbean, my work friends and I went to dinner, party cruises, regular parties and savannah limes.
I’ve had wonderful friends in my life and I’ve said all this to say, friendships take work. I wouldn’t always say hard work but they do require effort, at least my more meaningful ones have. I recommend being a good friend, but being a better one to yourself, reciprocity is key.* There must be balance, it’s not always possible depending on our situations but in the long run there must be. So
continue to be a good friend this week:
make a phone call
write an email
send a package or card in the mail
tag someone in a facebook note
have a Skype check-in
Thank you to all my wontabular friends- past, present and future! 🙂
… the art of giving, loving, caring and sharing!
*another post on finding that balance to come