soca sistah soljahs

soca partyHow I’ll make it through what is now my 2nd missed carnival- which further cements the fact that there will be many many more that I will miss- I. Do. Not. Know. That’s pretty dramatic. I know I’ll be just fine. In the meantime I’ll try to get the most out of Toronto by going to a soca fete or two. I started just the other day and had a wonderful time. It has for me however highlighted the importance of doing to fetes with the right kind of people.

I *love* parties. Few would suspect this. But give me a party where the music is so loud that dancing is the only way to interact with the people around me and I’m the happiest I can be… That said, it have many people who I don’t like to party with. The expression, yuh doan bring sand to de beach comes to mind. That hasn’t been a big issue for me in the past but there are definitely benefits to going unattached.* But what I can’t handle are the lackluster party people. So speaking specifically to my soca heads, I want to party with you only if you meet what I now deem the criteria of a soca sistah soljah** . Are you a soca sistah soljah? If so you should be…

  1. practising your wine in the mirror at least weekly***
  2. able to handle wining at least at a 45 degree angle, with aspirations of 6:30… no matter how unrealistic***
  3. willing to wine on random men
  4. willing and able to stop random men from wining on you
  5. willing and able to stop random men from wining on your friend who has having difficulty with [4]
  6. willing and able to get close to the stage/ front of the crowd if your or your friend so desires
  7. greeting at least one person in the party with a wine
  8. holding your head and wining at least three times in the party
  9. at the party significantly past last call with no visible decrease in vibe or stamina

*that said, the heterosexist world in which we lives definitely affords privilge to having a fella in your crew- musings to follow

**no reference to Sister Soljah of whom I’m not a fan

*** source- pieces2peace, the original soca sistah soljah!

**** so I was going to put a picture of myself up but I said that might incriminate too many people. But I will go on the record that saying unlike these womyn in the picture it’s *very* race you’ll see any man wining on me and touching me so much. I don’t mind a wine but why’s your hand on my thigh, waist, shoulder, black… yeah. 🙂

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