Author Archive

The Wickedest Time When the Rain Start Fall- Repost

orgasmThese lines are the one of the most memorable songs for dancehall heads. Mr Luxury by Ronnie Thwaitess a old school mix tape standard and details rainy weather as the perfect time for love making. Rainy season in the Caribbean will cause many government workers to skip work just to stay home and lay up with their partners. Trust me, I definitely enjoy some rainy weather lovin’, who can resist the urge to cuddle up when it’s cool outside and you can hear the rain fall all around you? Good times guaranteed 🙂

But I dare say that a rainy day isn’t the only prime time to get some. I wanna suggest a few other situations that cause for some extra good ‘good-good’

*AddFyahandStir strongly advocates safe sex as the only good sex. Know your status people!*

1) After the club sex.

Scene 1.

Sexy club music. Drinks. Wearing your freakum dress, the one that hugs just right, You and your partner in that corner of the club, grinding and rubbing. Your favorite music. A few more drinks. Time to go home. (Sometimes you don’t even wait to get home).

Scene 2

Drinks. Sexy club music. You connect eyes with a cutie that you have seen around the way. Why yes kind sir, I would love you if bought me and my girls a few drinks. Amaretto sour for me please. Dancing with your new friend, in a way that your girl friend needs to remind you that boo’s boy’s are in the club as well . oops teeheehee. It’s just a dance, and in any case previously mentioned girl friend needs to drop me off at boo’s house when we leave here. A few more drinks and I am ready to get out of here. When I get to boo’s house and he’s asleep, thers are sooo many fun ways to wake him up to let him know that I NEED his attention RIGHT NOW!!!

2) Almost getting caught sex.

Whether it’s by a sibling, a maid at a hotel, a valet at the club parking lot or a random stranger(the stories I could tell). The rush and range of emotions involved in almost getting caught with a leg over a shoulder, is pretty damn amazing.

At first it’s slight terror cus you aren’t sure who it is, then you have to rush to move away or cover up or something. Then once the crisis is averted it is friggin hilarious, you replay the situation in your head and cannot help but find great comedy in the fact that your lil sister almost walked in on you while she was trying to bring you some brownies. Writer’s note: always lock your front door, always. At this point all juices are flowing again and everyone should be ready to assume the position, or try a new one.

3) Just before I go to work sex

Whether it’s at 6:30 am after you just spent the night together or you are able to link up and connect just before you start your afternoon shift, this loving is great. There have been times when I am already dressed to go and I get distracted. Oh dear, now I (or we) have to go shower again and I am gonna be late for work. Sigh, good times.

4) Sex by music

Back in the day I used to pick out music specifically for a date night. Haven’t done that in a while, but there are a few songs that used to feature on my playlists that still bring back memories of back in the day. I can recall some Jill Scott, Beres Hammond and Bob Marley that remind me of some young loving high scores.

More recently a few songs have accidentally become memorable as they have featured as background music. A few VH1 Soul sessions come to mind fondly and even a few spins from RETV (google it).

This is a decidedly short list and please note that they are not listed in any particular order. Fyah family, what do you think? Tell me aboue any others I may have left out. Maybe yall will inspire some new memories.

Fyah links Friday

indexHey Fyah Family, this week has been full of stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff and all that lies in between. For the bad and in-between I found some internet inspiration. I hope you enjoy it as well.

1) My younger sister is a boss. Caring, funny and smart, she is the true super-star and heart of my family. She also happens to have special needs. When I read about Aaron Philip in the NY Times it automatically thought of her and her bravery and strength navigating this world that sadly does not appreciate her skills and contributions.  Read this story about Aaron and check and follow his tumblr.

2) I came across this listing of photographs depicting  love/love stories and even my jaded icebox of a heart went all warm and mushy. Awwww 🙂

3) So, life as a grad student is  something I think you have to experience to believe. Readings, grades, assignments, schedules, a shit load more readings and assignments, working as a TA, working on a thesis, looking for a job that pays cus this tuition is expensive, more readings and assignments, weight gain, and then it all seems worth it  for the times when I am reminded that it is pretty great to be a grad student. Yes, it actually is that frenetic. I was sitting at my desk staring at about 6 student emails about something or the other  and during one of my Facebook breaks , I came across this hilariously revealing post.  Fellow grad schoolers or recent grads, let me know if this resonates.

Have a great weekend!

Video

Music Wednesday – Cuffing Season Soundtrack

For those not in the know, cuffing season, is the sudden urge to have a special someone during the unbearable winter months. A cuddle and other buddy for the snow storms and the weekends spent at home under the blankets. As the temperatures here in the north-east dip, the reason why people feel the need to find a partner for cuffing season becomes exceedingly clear.

For those of you in warmer, more humane, climates I am sure you can find great uses for these songs as well. Enjoy!

1 Mos Def – The Panties

2. Aaliyah – One in a Million

3. JIll Scott – The Way

Jill is letting you know that tonight she’s gonna beat her her high score 🙂

4. Madonna and Massive Attack – I want you

5. Lady Saw – It’s Raining

Fyah Friday links

malala

1. October 2013 marks one year since Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head by Taliban gunmen – her “crime”, to have spoken up for the right of girls to be educated in a blog that she was managing anonymously for a few years.  This is the first in depth interview she has given since the attack and she has some very interesting views on how she believes peace can be attained with the Taliban through discussions.

Two things stood out to me:

  • The treatment of women and girls by the Taliban was used as a reason for intervention and military action. I took some time to look for what has been done to attempt to learn about some of the plans to achieve this objective and was unsuccessful. I certainly found out a lot about military engagement though.
  • Malala believes that the US (hmmm) and ambiguous governments are the ones responsible for brokering peace with the Taliban. She hopes to take an active role in this in the future as she aspires to hold political office.  I hope that she can continue to bring a voice to girls in her region but her sources of that hope give me pause.

2. Since the tragic shooting in Newton CT. late last year, the public discussions around dealing with people living with mental illness has been really difficult to sit through. Laws that significantly compromise confidentiality in mental health care and stigmatize those in treatment or who may have been treated in the past have been rolled out in a frenzy to appease some unfounded urge to save ‘us’ from them ‘them’

This Atlantic article shows are ill-prepared police officers are to deal with mental illness in times of crisis, relating the the recent shooting death by the police of a woman at Capitol Hill

I was reminded about attempts to facilitate gender training sessions with police and immigration officers . I left those sessions knowing that most officers were only there because they had be and were less than concerned about the subject matter. Additionally, the  fact that these sessions were being as one-off sessions and not part of comprehensive mandatory training , made me even less hopeful that the change I was hoping for would be realized.

images3.  Sigh. Why does the Dominican Republic want to manufacture more hardship for people of Haitian descent? The Constitutional Court in Santo Domingo has ruled in favor of stripping citizenship from children of Haitian migrants. The decision applies to those born after 1929. Really? Really now?  Here, PJ Patterson, former Jamaican PM is asking that CARICOM take a stand to strongly condemn this ruling.  What does strongly condemn really mean? I don’t know. But hopefully enough negative attention on this matter will force the D.R to pull this foolishness back.

Conversations – Repost

A few years ago, I heard about a man who had been stuck in an elevator in Manhattan for five days because he refused to call for help. He was an undocumented worker who chose to stay in a dark, dangling and dangerous elevator rather than use the emergency call button. It he very well could have died in that elevator, and it appeared that he was willing to die before being sent back. That story has stayed with me over the years.

It was on my mind recently when I spent a much longer time than I wanted to discussing cases of human trafficking that have been in the local media in the past year with a dear cousin who is chronically concerned about my feminist ways.

She rolled her eyes as I shared the stories of young women and girls lured with promises, flattery, gifts and glamorous lifestyles. I explained that these women are fed fantasies of the extreme and non-stop partying that they can be a part of if they come to Antigua to dance at a bar or restaurant.

What do they expect?”

“I would never leave my country under those circumstances.”

“They are already whores where they come from.”

When they get here, these women are in instant debt. The plane ticket that was once free, now costs $3,000. Rent must be paid for meagre shared accommodations at $500/week. Food must be bought from the club at $80/day. Clothing and shoes too, at $350/outfit. All owed to the club that brought them here.

The parties are indeed non-stop but you are the entertainment, you need to make money to pay your debts and of course you want to have some money for yourself. The going rate of $50 for a dance and $300-$500 for sex can only go so far. Additionally, your passport is confiscated by your no-longer-gracious host, so even if one of these women wanted to leave, where can you go in this strange new country?

”Well, I would never give anyone my passport.”

”I told you they are whores; they are accustomed to that.”

”How could anyone be that stupid?”

My mind goes back to the man in the elevator. Like him, these women often live in horrendous situations that lead them to make desperate and risky choices. Add someone who is able and willing to exploit that desperation and you have the perfect scenario for human trafficking- modern day slavery.

Are you still trying to convince me that they don’t know what they really come here for?”

Quite honestly, I don’t care.Whether or not she anticipates that she will be a sex worker when she gets here is of little consequence to the greater issue: that she is being deprived of choice, denied of freedom of movement, and criminally exploited in general. Like I said,modern day slavery. To over look this because we’re uneasy about sex work is pretty ridiculous to me.

I left that conversation feeling misunderstood and judged. I shudder to think about what is must be like to be a woman trying to escape a trafficking situation, who can she speak to that will understand? How long will she remain dangling dangerously in her own proverbial elevator?

Music Wednesday – Amy Winehouse

Image

It’s quite a feat for an album to be more than bearable if forced to listen to it all the way through. Back to Black is one of those albums. It’s been on repeat for the morning commutes recently and I want to share some of my favorites.

1. Back to Black

2 Me and Mr. Jones

3. Love is a Losing Games

Happy Hump Day!

 

Video

Music Wednesday +1 – Stephen Marley

Been in a mellow mood. Seasons changing, pace picking up with work and school so I try to spend my down-time as relaxed as possible.  Hope you enjoy.

1. No Cigarette Smoking featuring the fabulous Melanie Fiona

2. Hey Baby featuring Mos Def

3. Someone to Love

 

Tag Cloud