Archive for the ‘future’ Category

#2 what do you do in your personal life that’s a little F’ed up?


Victims Speak Out

Women of Antigua: When a Woman Moans

addfyahandstir’s bookshelf

Full length individual videos with transcripts:

| hair removal |  make upconversation & speaking upVictims Speak Out | performance arts |  reading and writing |

#1 what do you think when you hear the f word?

The f word can mean a lot of things. For the right now we mean feminism.We asked six young women what they think when they hear the f word. Did/ do you think any of these things?

Be sure to check out their video clips (with transcriptions) below!

| it takes work… | independence & assertiveness | love & compassion |

| strength & revolution |

| development & respect | choices & possibility |

In Complexity and Complicity

I watched the Melissa Harris Perry show  for the first this weekend, and I think I’m hooked.  #nerdland stand up!

On Saturday’s show, one of my feminist mentors  Joan Morgan and a few other panellists were talking about the 15th anniversary of the death of  the Notorious B.I.G  and hip hop culture in general and it was a amazing 20 minutes of television.  There were biggie quotes and music clips and a shout outs to female emcees and a discourse on hip hop that you would be hard pressed to find on any other mainstream show.

What really struck me was when Joan Morgan spoke of her relationship with hip hop being one of complexity and complicity. This was one of the clinchers in her 2000 book When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost. How can we be feminist when we sometimes *cringe* like/accept/promote the very things that we are seeking to challenge? It is present not only in music, but all over our culture and manifests through interpersonal relationships, cultural events (sigh, my beloved carnival) and socio-political life.

I was hoping that this discussion, among others that I have had or listened to, would have some magical answer for addressing this issue, something that I could add to my feminist care package to carry around along with my cell phone and keys and eloquently whip out when I am challenged by others and even by myself. Don’t know if that answer exists.

What I do get from these discussions is the dynamism of this cause we call social justice. We have lots of suggestions and ideas but cannot declare any as the way. We question and we analyse and we make choices individually and in our collectives that we hope to chip away at inequality and oppression. I also come away renewed that feminism actively engaging women and all marginalised groups in all our interconnectedness is the missing piece to the puzzle. Our voices, our action, our curiosity is critical to our survival as long we strive towards social justice.

Music Wednesday – Matey Edition

Matey being the opposite of Wifey. Outside or kept woman. Mistress. Part-time Lover.

Very controversial and emotional topic and I don’t think there is a person over 20 that doesn’t have a matey experience of some sort. However you feel about the issue, that discussion is for another day, today is for matey music.

Matey music is a genre all by itself. These songs are filled with emotion, reflection, turmoil and entertainment. What more can you ask for?

Here we go:

1. Tanya Stephens – It’s a Pity

I feel there is no explanation needed for this classic. Tanya deduces that when society becomes evolved enough she will be given permission to share this particular dude with his wifey. I dunno about all that, but love the song.

2. Whitney Houston – Saving all my love

RIP Whitney. I felt real hurt when I learned of Whitney’s passing. Her album You Give Good Love was the very first album I owned that wasn’t sang mostly by a cartoon character, so she has been on my playlist for over 20 years. This is a big big matey song that I only realised was a matey song only a few years ago. It speaks of the turmoil felt knowing that dude has his other life and trying to find the strength to ‘do the right thing’

3. Pussycat Dolls – Don’t cha

What can I say, I like the song. 🙂

4. Lady SawI’ve Got Your Man

Her business card promises Good Food. I love it! Interesting to note that Mama Saw lets wifey know that she intends to make dude her own man, may another promise of good food turn his eyes again? Circle of Life?

5. Tanya StephensTo the Rescue

Matey as community service. Who woulda thunk it?

I had soo much fun going through these songs. Part two will be the wifey responses, lol

Three things I will be trying

It’s still early in the year so it’s still about fresh starts and I decided to share with the fyah family a few things that I am going to try. I started thinking about this post as things I want to try but then getting a tattoo got crossed off the list so I am left with things I am going to try.

1) Audio books.

I know, I know, there is nothing like the feel of a paper back and I enjoy browsing my personal library and remembering when I read certain books. I am attached to my books and DO NOT LEND them to anyone for fear of not getting them back. Fast forward to 2012 and I just don’t have the time to commit to reading and enjoying books like I used to. I keep buying books and haven’t gotten around to reading them and it makes me sad. A good friend of mine told me that he was in the same dilemma until he started audio books, you listen while doing chores, in the car, at the gym and he gets through a book a month. I haven’t read a book a month since forever and would be happy with a book every three months. I actually downloaded Ayaan Hersi Ali’s Infidel (another paperback that                                                                 taunts me from my bookshelf) and I shall be loading it onto the phone tonight. I will let you know how it goes.

2) Agenda Keeping

Sounds simple right? Every year I get a brand new day planner and haul it around in my bag and  it becomes a place where I stash bills and paper and random phone numbers and does nothing to help me organise my life. I’m  really gonna try to check it daily and use it for reminders and meetings and birthdays and stuff.

3) Learn about caloric intake

Not in the stressful, depriving and annoying way, but to be knowledgeable about how food works as fuel for my body and all that good stuff.   I would like to know more about carbs and protein and fibre and aminos and sodium and all the other things they talk about on TV.  Trust, pizza will still be my favourite food and there is always cake in my fridge for a reason but  I was ashamed to realise that I know more about what fuels my car than what fuels my body. No bueno . As they say you only have one body so you better take care of it.  I wonder if I can figure out how many calories in a nice plate of ducuna, saltfish and chop-up.

Music Wednesday

Happy New Year!

I have been listening to music on shuffle am thoroughly enjoying the randomness and re-discovery. Allow me to share some gems that i have happened upon that made me laugh, shake my head or do the body wave.

1. Madonna– Take a Bow

I really really really love this song. I remember listening to it on repeat when I was in high school, amazed by the rawness and sincerity. I very likely was going through a puppy love situation at the time and juxtaposing my life into the grown-womaness of Madonna’s words in only the way a 14-yea-old could.

2. Home T, Cocoa Tea and Shabba Ranks – Pirates

My home was always full of music and I have fond memories of long car rides with my Dad in particular where he would be blasting all forms of music from the old Subaru stereo system as we would be traipsing across the island. My Dad would tackle many complex societal issues through these songs.

I remember asking him about Buju Banton‘s song  Love mi Browning. What’s a Browning? I asked. Daddy took the time to explain colorism  and the resulting discrimination to me in a way I could understand and even introduced me to Buju’s peddle back  Love Black Woman and invited me to think on motivations and reactions to both songs.

Back to Pirates. I was amazed that Shabba and them had to fight to be able to play their music in the UK where this song is set and my Dad was able to show me that there was similar discrimination right at home in the island where certain artists and genres were vilified. The UK offered up more racial and xenophobic (at that time it appeared that way) motivations and tensions and he told me about how Jamaicans and generally Caribbean people were treated when they migrated north in search of ‘ a better life’

3. En VougeMy Lovin (Never Gonna get it)

This is a great song but when I listen to it I am drawn to remember the video and the dance sequence featuring the lovely ladies of En Vouge. Their sweeping hand movements and deliberate hip thrusts, is EXACTLY how my Mom dances. I always tease her that she was the lost member of the group but she ignores me and slow body rocks her way through any and every form of music, and it always seems to work.

Hope u enjoy and cheers to randomness and memories and dancing and old tunes and youtube.

ATM Horror Stories

I had a nice cheery Things-I-heart-about-this-time-of-year post in my head but then I went to the ATM this morning and was immediately brought back to reality.

Shit is expensive, everything is expensive, no apparent rhyme or reason, just plain expensive. I generally try to watch my spending, I would get into a nice rhythm with a decent month end account balance and then something happens and I have to spend $800 of of the blue and my budget is shot to hell.

Usually that financial shock is usually a car or medical expense and and it is generally absorbed but this time around I went on vacation and spent ALL ( I mean ALL) my money. So now it’s the week before Christmas and I am looking at my ATM receipt in shock and horror.

I should get paid sometime this week ( all my fellow Caribbean civil service workers I know you feel me) so I will get stuff for the loved ones then but I will need to budget wisely for January. for reals.

This post was late because I actually downloaded a budget app for my phone and entered all the receipts I could find and I hope to track my spending for the next month or so. I wanna tally up every bottle of water and coffee and every other random little expense because I need to get my shit in order.

I will be 30 in less than a month and big things shall be poppin so I need to have some money so I can keep my swag sauce dripping 🙂 And by swag sauce I mean a down payment for a house 😀

Fyah family, I am hoping yall can encourage me, any software or financial websites or general good advice is welcomed.

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