Posts tagged ‘food’

Fyah Fridays- Girls, Food and Science

girls1. I have been watching Girls on HBO. I watch it because it’s a captivating story, featuring unique perspectives and characters I have never seen on Television in this light before. These are some screwed up, delusional, without-a-clue, privileged, reckless, self-involved women living in a dream world and it’s hella entertaining to watch. There are many scenes that make me quite uncomfortable around sex acts and relationships but I know this shit really happens. Another aspect about Girls is that not one of the characters are remotely likeable, not one of them. Yet I can’t stop watching.  This is an article I read that sort of reflects how I feel about the show. I know the season has ended but I don’t have HBO so I have to find alternative viewing options so that leaves me quite a bit behind.

food2. I love food, probably too much. I love to go to fancy grocery stores and buy up special sauces and oils and frozen samosas and other delicious things. I found this article on food prices globally and its progression in the last few years. I found it interesting the amount of money spent on food at home. As a student I try my best to eat at home and prepare food to go when I can. How much money do you think you spend on food away from home?

3. I Bleeping love Science. This is my most favourite facebook page. Get into it! science

Have a great weekend!

Three things I will be trying

It’s still early in the year so it’s still about fresh starts and I decided to share with the fyah family a few things that I am going to try. I started thinking about this post as things I want to try but then getting a tattoo got crossed off the list so I am left with things I am going to try.

1) Audio books.

I know, I know, there is nothing like the feel of a paper back and I enjoy browsing my personal library and remembering when I read certain books. I am attached to my books and DO NOT LEND them to anyone for fear of not getting them back. Fast forward to 2012 and I just don’t have the time to commit to reading and enjoying books like I used to. I keep buying books and haven’t gotten around to reading them and it makes me sad. A good friend of mine told me that he was in the same dilemma until he started audio books, you listen while doing chores, in the car, at the gym and he gets through a book a month. I haven’t read a book a month since forever and would be happy with a book every three months. I actually downloaded Ayaan Hersi Ali’s Infidel (another paperback that                                                                 taunts me from my bookshelf) and I shall be loading it onto the phone tonight. I will let you know how it goes.

2) Agenda Keeping



Sounds simple right? Every year I get a brand new day planner and haul it around in my bag and  it becomes a place where I stash bills and paper and random phone numbers and does nothing to help me organise my life. I’m  really gonna try to check it daily and use it for reminders and meetings and birthdays and stuff.

3) Learn about caloric intake

Not in the stressful, depriving and annoying way, but to be knowledgeable about how food works as fuel for my body and all that good stuff.   I would like to know more about carbs and protein and fibre and aminos and sodium and all the other things they talk about on TV.  Trust, pizza will still be my favourite food and there is always cake in my fridge for a reason but  I was ashamed to realise that I know more about what fuels my car than what fuels my body. No bueno . As they say you only have one body so you better take care of it.  I wonder if I can figure out how many calories in a nice plate of ducuna, saltfish and chop-up.

Fyah Links Friday

I came across this post a few weeks ago and was smizing at it’s sincere frankness, I too am a big sister and can totally relate. The comments under the article though, you may need to take a seat, or ignore them like I always tell myself I should.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/you-can-get-laid-without-being-a-jerk/

 

 

Just because she is so darn cute!!

http://clutchmagonline.com/2011/10/the-muppet-who-loves-her-hair-seeks-to-change-the-world/

DC, I see you! I think that some Caribbean islands are quite veggie friendly            ( more accurately pescatarain friendly) because of the influence of  Rastafari

http://frugivoremag.com/2011/10/washington-d-c-named-the-most-veggie-friendly-city-in-america/

the violence of eating and the disorder that is

I first learned about eating disorders in… I really don’t remember but as someone who watched a whole lot of television growing up I’m pretty sure I learned about in Junior High- somewhere between 1st and 2nd form. I vaguely remember some HBO movie about a young white womon who had bulimia and an episode of St. Elsewhere (how I remember this I do not know) an Asian-American doctor was struggling with bulimia. I don’t think I fully u/s then concept then, all I probably saw was a young white girl vomiting into a toilet. One of the many things I put into the category of “white people things”. A list that grew tremendously long as I got older.

Back to eating disorders. When I was in 4th form there was a rumour going around school that I had bulimia b/c I’d lost quite bit of weight somewhere between 3rd & 4th form. The weight loss was something I had not noticed until this rumour. I was very hurt by the rumour but I never spent much time thinking about the bulimia bit.

Over the course of the last 10 years I’ve “struggled” with my weight in various ways. I’ve always been small but “society” has always made me concerned that my stomach wasn’t flat enough, my thighs weren’t smooth enough etc. etc. I hoped this would fade out as I got older- it didn’t. It also didn’t help that my weight moved up and down within a 20 lb range over the course of four years.

And now at my fittest, I still worry about my weight.

  • And I wonder is the constant worry about one’s weight count as an eating disorder?
  • And why isn’t there more information on eating disorders that focus on womyn of colour?
  • And what counts as constant worry?

I think about what I eat and when I eat a lot. It of course doesn’t help that at the office a running joke is that I’m a small vacuum, my co-workers are often in awe of the amt of food I am capable of eating keeping in mind my piper body.

I worry that all these comments coupled with my obsession with my body makes me think that I need to be exercising. And I know exercise is good thing and that’s the reason I’m doing it. Diabetes is a very real concern in my family and sports have never been my thing- it requires too much coordination so I figure if I don’t start making an effort now to be physically healthy I never will be. But I still can’t help thinking that maybe the real reason I’m exercising is b/c of society’s demands on what my body should look like.

So I think okay, so many womyn would kill to be my size (not that inspirational for other womyn) and try to limit my exercise b4 it gets ridiculous and be responsible about my eating while at the same time not obsessing too much about body image. But it’s so hard… do you ever watch television? Everyone stomach is sooooooooooooo flat and their clothes fit sooooooooooo perfectly and they just look sooooooooooooo together and all I want to know is how? And the answer is “it’s television” but I still can’t get past the images. How do I get past the images? How do I feel confident in myself and not be sooooooooooo susceptible to media images and societal standards. How, oh how, oh how? Does anyone have an answer?

And I know you can hear my psyche crying now. It’s in pain and all I can wonder or think about is how much damage I’m doing to myself by

  1. limiting myself food
  2. overindulging in food in an attempt not to fall into the societal trap of limiting myself food
  3. actually considering putting my finger down my throat b/c maybe my stomach would look flatter
  4. being oh-so-thankful that I do not have enough will power and enjoy food way too much to starve myself
  5. looking at myself in the mirror every change I get to assess how my body is looking at that moment
  6. never having a mirror in my room if I can help it so I don’t get trapped into spending all my time in a mirror
  7. wondering how my body looks to others
  8. wondering how people make it through their own days with all this stuff on their mind- really wondering if I’m the only one

Sadly and fortunately, I’m not the only one.

Wheat Crackers

I believe that people like what they like, there needn’t be a reason. Maturity and experience can sometimes curb an interest in a particular preference but unfortunately I cannot say that this has been the case for my romantic life.

Some of my friends say that I have a thing for a certain type of man. They use *very* misleading words like sly, dangerous, and rough where I would use words like interesting, courageous, focused and edgy. I have never been attracted to quiet or conservative men. I enjoy conversation, character and dynamism (think TJ Holmes and Stringer Bell from the Wire).

mmm mmm good

*swoons*

In all honesty, however, this dynamism and character hasn’t always served me well. I haven’t been in many relationships but I have had more than my share of talk show drama with these men. I have had many moments of reflection with alcohol my best girlfriends and on my own where I have pondered on why I let these things happen to me.

In one of those periods in between drama with one ex boyfriend or the other I decided that I would take responsibility. I decided that I needed to make up my mind to talk to a different kind of man. Maybe my friends where right, was I attracted to the wrong type of man? I decided it couldn’t hurt to test their theory.

My analogy was that I was literally hurting my heart with these men that didn’t act right. I needed to seek out more wholesome and heart healthy relations. I was gonna lay off the delicious but dangerous fried food men and get me a nice wheat crackers/carrot sticks man.

Nice? and Healthy

Wheat crackers man came in the form of a guy that I had a crush when I was a youngín. He was a few years older than me and I would sneak peeks at him when he was would walk past my house back in the old hood. I was definitely too shy and too young to talk to him back then but grown up Trendsettah decided to make a move.

He was game, maybe a little too game if I get really real. He was gung ho from real early, talking about future plans and trying to get all up in my space before I could really warm up to him. I had to give him a speech about calling me too often, showing up at my job, and generally crowding me. I called a conference with my girlfriends; I needed their counsel about whether I was being too hard on wheat crackers? Was I giving him a chance? Was I too jaded by too busy and sometimes unavailable men to not know what it was like to date someone who was attentive?

I decided to hold the faith, put some effort into getting to know him better. He was a really sweet man, with a loving generous spirit but he was just so predictable. I don’t want to say that he was boring I had to find to put in work to find something fascinating to talk about with him. He didn’t know my politics and that can cause some awkward moments but I was convinced that a grown ass man like him must have something interesting to talk about instead of trying waay too hard and saying all things he thought I wanted to hear.  Le Sigh.

The last straw came when (I think) he tried to make a move. We had been ‘talking’ for nearly 2 months and I had deftly resisted all physical contact outside of a hug. We had gone to a movie and afterwards he decided to make a detour to his house. This was a very bad idea on his behalf, with him already being on shaky ground, unilaterally deciding that I would want to go to his house at damn near midnight after the movies brought down the curtains on his little show. I really don’t care what his intentions were but I was not impressed. I refused to get out of the car until I was taken home and a few days later I told him that it would not work out. I just wasn’t interested.

coronary on a plate

Within a month after that I was back with ex boyfriend *sigh* *SIGH*

There are many ways I can look at this, maybe wheat crackers never stood a chance, maybe we weren’t compatible, maybe he was extremely boring, or maybe I needed to grow up, maybe.

This was a few years ago and I now feel that there is a happy medium, extremes have never been my thing and that episode made that clear to me. Dry wheat crackers are just as unappealing as deep fried fatty foods, and none of those choices would ever make me happy.

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